Each person, accepting an invitation to a date, must understand that this is nothing more than a “bride”. The first date is not just an acquaintance, it is an assessment of the personality. From how the acquaintance goes, further communication will develop: in other words, whether another meeting will be scheduled.
This is perhaps the most difficult stage. Moreover, you can communicate virtually for a long time, feel spiritual closeness and common interests, but at the first meeting everything goes topsy-turvy, and the realization comes that a potential partner is “fu, be”. Of course, not everyone comes to a meeting, as if for an interview. It all depends on the character of the person and his friendliness, but you need to be prepared for anything. So, how to recognize and behave if you suspect a check for “lice”.
And how to check a girl, you can find out in our article further on the link.
Self-esteem and Leaning Tower of Pisa: what unites them?
The most important thing to understand is the very fact of the forthcoming evaluation. You should never take someone's opinion of yourself as the last resort. How many people, so many opinions. You won’t be sweet for everyone, so you shouldn’t take everything personally. Complexes are already above the roof. If you react sharply to everyone, then self-esteem will begin to fall, like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. True, if there is enough intelligence, it will only stagger, and not crumble to dust.
Yes, and what to look at someone. Every person behaves this way. And this is absolutely normal. So, the reciprocity of this moment is obvious.
To taste and color
Each person has their own rating scale. In addition to the general requirements that apply to absolutely everyone, there are also purely individual ones. Questionnaires that ask about the main qualities of a potential partner are filled with standard characteristics: kindness, humor, friendliness, responsibility and other positive qualities of any individual. When it comes down to it, it turns out that it’s not enough to be a friendly humorist or a kind modest fellow.
In someone they want to see a respectable father of the family, and someone is looking for a “lighter girl”. And there is no getting away from it. It’s good if the communication took place in absentia and some nuances have already been clarified. But, if the date is almost blind, then you should not blow your lips if it doesn’t grow together. Disappointment can overtake at any moment and the first date does not oblige to subsequent meetings. As they say, the taste and color — there are no comrades.
Provocation
Don't faint if a light controversy begins on the first date. This is just a provocation, nothing more. Why do people resort to it? The answer is simple. Consider the nuances of character. It is difficult for a person who is not in control of himself to restrain his emotions. No, of course, no one will throw chairs, but nervousness will immediately make itself felt. This will be an important test criterion that will show how adequate a person is in the first place.
It is no secret that some comrades wear a huge crown, and they have only two opinions: one is their own, the other is wrong. Such categoricalness will negate all chances for subsequent meetings, because no one needs a pompous kukusik in FIG, as well as a narcissistic chicken.
But in no case should you start such a check yourself. Otherwise, the opinion may not be in favor of the provocateur. On the first date, everyone is a little dishonest. After all, their task is that you need blood from the nose to please your counterpart. And even if a person adapts and accepts the rules of the game, then inside he will make his own, far from positive verdict. So, having figured out the true reason for the behavior of the interlocutor, namely provocation, you can internally laugh, play along and wait for the continuation.
“Tell me who your friend is and I'll tell you who you are”
The coolest and most serious test. If suddenly a potential partner decides to enter into a social circle, then this can be regarded as a kind of exam. The opinion of friends is not just subjective, it is also saturated with indifference in the sense that they do not have to try to please. Plus, they don't have a blurry look. So the introduction to personal space is not just a serious step. It is also a kind of trust quota.
But what is good is the reciprocity of verification. The thing is that friends are a mirror of a person. With whom and how the partner communicates, how he spends time, what are his interests. All this floats to the surface in a matter of minutes. Friends have nothing to hide, which means that unpleasant facts can slip through the conversation.
Whether the next date will directly depend on the opinion of friends. They have the gift of persuasion worse than the prosecutor. And here there is one small nuance. In the future, if, nevertheless, the partner decides to neglect the opinion of friends, then this is fraught with the fact that he will be left without friends, and in the event of a breakdown in relations, he will also be accused of all mortal sins. So, either you have to behave in such a way as to win the hearts of friends, or leave. Especially if the rejection is mutual, and the conclusions about the partner are sad.
“Decoy ducks”
Watch yourself, be careful. This is an indispensable rule of the first date. A partner will always appreciate what kind of looks the counterpart casts on the people around him. Whether it's the waiter, the people at the next table, the bartender or someone else, it doesn't matter. In any case, people always look appraisingly: both men and women. But from this nuance, an opinion is formed about the fidelity of a potential partner.
In order not to get into trouble, it is better not to pay any attention to them, and even more so not to watch them. Naturally, it is not necessary to sit staring at the interlocutor, he may feel uncomfortable, it is better to examine the interior. And if you really had to cast a glance, then make it as indifferent as possible, because the object of attention is opposite, and not at the next table or bar.
Ordering and paying for the menu
Wow, slippery moment. On the one hand, one cannot seem like a complete rogue, on the other hand, it is difficult to take the rap later. In general, the rule is: who invites, he also banks. What does it mean? This means that the initiator pays, and the order is made by each individual. If you want to show off and invite to a pretentious place, then it is better to order the menu yourself in advance. Sort of a ready dinner. Then marbled beef will not be a surprise in the bill. In the world there is a practice of self-payment of the bill.
But not in Russia. Still, in this country, everything is more beautiful with this: the man pays the bill. The girl. in turn, one should be more modest, after all, she did not come to eat, but to get acquainted. Otherwise, the guy may have an opinion about the commercialism of the lady and parasitic inclinations. Especially if the date was empty and it became clear that no more meetings were expected. By the way, insisting on paying the bill yourself will indicate that the date failed and the person does not want to be obliged.
Epilogue
There is no need to be afraid of the first date. It does not obligate anyone to anything. You need to be yourself, do not try to show yourself better than you really are, do not show off and do not knock your heel in the chest. You just have to figure out how everything looks from the outside. In general, the best assistant in this difficult task is banal etiquette. Then everything will go off without a hitch.
And about whether to check the girl, read our article, further on the link.
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