Have you ever thought about how often you have sex and whether you are satisfied with the amount of sex in your life? Probably yes. This question is asked by most people, and this is natural. But it's important to remember that every relationship is different and everyone has different sexual needs.
The Benefits of Sex
No matter how much sex you have, this pastime has many benefits for you. health and is an important part of a successful relationship.
Sex allows you to bond with your partner. When you make love, you feel valued, loved and respected; you are satisfied and happy. Sexual intimacy provides a deep emotional connection that cultivates trust, and trust is extremely important in any relationship.
In addition, intimacy, especially if it involves an orgasm, releases dopamine, which helps people calm down, reduce anxiety, and feel as comfortable as possible with each other.
Obviously, pleasant physical sensations have a positive effect on emotional state and physical health.
In other words, sex is really very useful. That is why it is worth trying to make it present in your life. At least sometimes.
Satisfaction with sex life
Sexual release and satisfaction with intimate life are very important for almost every person. Yes, you can live without sex, and the experience of many couples around the world proves this. But we have to admit that this lifestyle is not for everyone.
Lack of intimacy or problems of a sexual nature somehow affect other areas of life, even if you do not notice it. Practice shows that when couples stop having sex, their relationship becomes vulnerable to quarrels, hostility, betrayal and, ultimately, breakup.
Being sexually unsatisfied, your partner may not tell you that something does not suit him, for fear of offending you. However, this problem will sooner or later lead to misunderstandings and disagreements in the relationship.
In this case, the best outcome of events will be a serious reassessment of your sex life and finding ways to solve the problem, and in the worst case, the relationship may end.
Therefore, the satisfaction of sexual life is necessary for each partner in a couple. And if it is not there, this is a reason to start changing something.
Sex frequency
How often should you have sex? There is no definite answer to this question. You should be guided only by what you think is necessary and right for your relationship and intimate life.
A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior studied the sexual behavior of more than 26 thousand people from 1989 to 2014 . The average adult has been found to have sex 54 times a year, which means about once a week.
It also turned out that for married couples this number remained practically unchanged — 51 times a year. However, the frequency of sexual intercourse varied with age: people under 30 reported having sex about 80 times a year, while for older people this number drops to 20.
It's also important to note that “sex” — it is a broad term covering many types of sexual activity. Therefore, definitions can vary from person to person.
So, once a week is an average for many couples, but it doesn't necessarily mean that this amount of sex is right for all relationships.
< p>“I have worked with couples who claimed that once a week — it's too much. As well as with others, for whom such an amount was insufficient”, — says Stephanie Görlich, licensed social worker and sexologist. She claims that each couple determines the amount of sex that is ideal for her, and this number can change as the relationship develops.
According to Kristen Lozano, family therapist, some people will still feel satisfied, even if they don't have sex for months.
So instead of looking for a non-existent rule of how much sex you should have in your life, Kristen suggests focusing on the quality of your intimate life and what it means to you and your partner.
Factors that affect sexuality attraction
“Sex — it is a multifaceted and complex experience. Good sex depends not only on the physical sensations, but also on the emotional and mental state”, — Goerlich says. Therefore, sexual activity is affected by both mental and physical health.
Here are just a few of the many factors that have a big impact on the sex life of you and your partner:
Stress (in relationships or in any other life situations); changes in the body due to aging or health problems; routine, monotony in life (including sexual); busyness with children/career/household chores; lack of comfort in communicating with a partner.
“All these factors can also influence each other, — says Lozano, — for example, if your body changes for some reason, you may develop body dysmorphic disorder (an excessive worry about bodily imperfections). Feeling uncomfortable with your own body can lead to stiffness and other problems in sex.”
Alternatives
There are many ways to have sex, but not in the traditional sense of the word. It must be remembered that sex is not always a missionary position and penetration (although there is nothing wrong with such sexual intercourse).
There are a variety of types of sex and a huge number of toys and gadgets that are specifically designed for this to diversify your sex life.
If for some reason you or your partner are not ready for “classic” sex, it's time to experiment and look for alternatives.
Oral sex, mutual masturbation, masturbation in front of each other and a bunch of other ways to please yourself and your partner – look for suitable options and don't be afraid to try new things.
This is especially true for older people. According to Linda De Villers, a psychology professor and sexologist, non-penetrative sexual activity is more likely to please both partners who are in their 60s, 70s, or even 80s.
Quality, not quantity
It is important to understand that a lot of sex does not always mean that such a relationship is better than one in which the sex life is not too active.
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Therefore, instead of chasing the number of sexual intercourses per week (or per day, or per month), it is better to focus on the quality of your intimate life and your connection with your partner.
It is important to constantly talk openly about intimacy and everyone its aspects; Discuss what can make your connection stronger and what can be improved in your relationship. If communication is established between you, sex will be enchanting – no matter how often it happens.
On the contrary, if you do not discuss problems in intimate life or simply do not want to develop it, even having sex several times a day , you won't feel satisfied.
So, to sum it all up, less frequent but better sex is definitely better than more frequent and dull sex.
How much sex does a man need? What a lasting and quantity to maintain health and happiness.
