You've probably heard about all sorts of different deviations in the sexual sphere, ending with the word “philia”. Today we are talking about ephebophilia.
What kind of animal is this, where did it come from, how does it manifest itself, how does ephebophilia as a disorder differ from just preferences in choosing a sexual partner – you will learn from this article.
What is ephebophilia?
This is one of the varieties of chronophilia. Chronophilias are preferences associated with the age of a sexual partner. That is, when you want your partner to be an older person, or vice versa, much younger than you, in short, a certain age.
Chronophilia is different. Specifically, ephebophilia is an attraction to boys and girls. More often, ephebophilia means precisely the attraction of sexually mature men to young men, adolescents of the late adolescence period – about fourteen to eighteen years old. A similar attraction, but in relation to fifteen or eighteen-year-old girls, is called corophilia (regardless of the sex of the one who is attracted to a young body). Ephebophilia is also called “nymphophilia”.
Why such names?
And here it is interesting. The fact is that ephebophilia is a word of Greek origin, and in general this phenomenon was very common in ancient Greece. One could say that it was a kind of part of the culture there, part of growing up: it was quite normal when a young man of fourteen or eighteen was in a relationship with a mature, adult man.
It was believed that there was nothing shameful in this: they say, an adult man will show the young man what it means to be a man, introduce him into adulthood (hussars, be silent!), teach martial arts, swordsmanship, primary skills of a Greek citizen. Well, what about sexual relations between men and young men… So what? Sublime even, the love of two pure souls!
The fact is that at that time it was believed that only men were capable of true, pure love. Women were not considered part of society, they were rather the property of men, incubators for childbearing.
They did not particularly have civil rights (for example, the right to vote, the right to be elected), and they had very little contact with men: mainly for, in fact, the reproduction of offspring, and the rest of the time, women and men even lived on different sides of the house ( they were officially separated) and had no contact with each other. It remained to love men.
Thus, the phenomenon of ephebophilia was formed in ancient Greece, and there it received a name. It consists of two roots:
- Ephebe is a young man who has reached legal maturity and acquires the rights of a citizen, becoming liable for military service. And “philia” is love.
- Nymphophilia. “Nymphs” in Greek is a bride, a young girl, plus the spirits of forests, fields, lakes and rivers in Greek mythology were called nymphs and represented as beautiful young girls.
- Corophilia. The root “kor” comes from the name of the goddess Kora, she is also Persephone. The fact is that she became Persephone after she married Hades, that is, she became an adult woman and lost her innocence. And before that, she was Kore, the young goddess of flowering and spring.
Causes of ephebophilia
In fact, the formation of sexual addictions is a matter so subtle that it is difficult to say why a particular person “stuck” precisely on young boys.
Maybe for the first time in his life he experienced sexual arousal looking at a slender, tanned youth playing beach volleyball in the sun.
Maybe he read a gentle erotic message in verse from a Greek poet praising young beauty, and something echoed, fluttered in his chest … It's all very subtle, individual. But in general, some reasons can be identified – from romantic to not very.
- Difficulties in sexual contacts with people of their own age. Roughly speaking: a man did not stand up for a sexually mature woman, he could not satisfy her, he was ridiculed and decided that it would be better to get acquainted with young girls who have nothing to compare with. It works the other way too.
- A fetish for inexperience, timidity, embarrassment.
- The ability to impose one's desires, especially in the case of an older man and a young girl: an unformed personality is easier to subdue, bend.
- The desire to feel successful in the sexual sphere: I was seduced by a young boy who could have sex with peers, but chose me (or a young girl who could have chosen the same young, fresh and elastic peers) – then I'm still wow!
- The desire to dominate.
- In older people, ephebophilia occurs as a kind of sexual doping, when peers or sexually mature people do not excite, but the feeling that you are doing something semi- or simply forbidden excites and enhances libido.
- Fetish for objects associated with youth, for example, school uniform, hair with two ponytails; or a fetish for elements of appearance associated with youth, such as youthful disproportion, not fully formed breasts, thin and high voice.
What is the difference between “philia” and mere preferences
< p>A perfectly legitimate question you might have.
Yes, indeed, all people have different preferences in choosing a partner, for example, many girls are attracted to older men – they seem more experienced, mature, sensual, wise, able to provide support, more skilled in bed.
And a forty-year-old (or even older) man and a twenty-year-old girl will not surprise anyone at all and will cause a reaction “well done, man!” with whom to have sex and build relationships – as long as he meets the signs of a certain age. A person is reduced to a fetish, a set of certain qualities.
On the example of the famous “Lolita”: Humbert did not like Lolita, as it seems to many because he beautifully and sensually describes his attraction to her. He “loved” (lusted for) a set of features that make it possible to identify Lolita as a teenage girl, that same “nymphet”. According to the plot of the book, he planned to get rid of Lolita as soon as she became like a mature woman.
He also planned to conceive a child for her so that she would give birth to a girl for him at her own disposal. I'm sorry if this shattered your idea of Lolita as a love story.
It's the same with life. If you think “I would like my partner to be older than me, I like this more”, but in principle you can fall in love, lust for a partner with signs of a different age – these are preferences. If you don't care who you are with, as long as you're of a certain age, that's philia.
