A sense of ownership is inherent in all people in love, and this is quite normal. “Assigning” to yourself the rights of a non-person is partly true: after all, you sought his attention so much, you tried, you climbed out of your skin, so you have the right to a little whim. But on the other hand, it is more like a slave system, where the slaves had no rights, only duties.
This is how the unfortunate Romeo or the distraught Juliet rushes about, not knowing what to do with the bitterness that corrodes the soul. And first of all, you need to relax – this is jealousy and it is present in almost any couples. Where it is not, either lovers are selflessly immersed in each other, or they do not care about the existence of the second half to the same extent. But if a small fraction of a harmful emotion is even great, then its search threatens the collapse of any relationship. Why are so many guys and girls jealous and how does this affect communication with loved ones, the article will tell about the psychology of jealousy?
Trust, but verify
The first thing that drives jealous people is distrust. And not necessarily to your chosen one! You sometimes look askance at the environment of the passion, secretly hate his or her friends, especially the opposite sex, and do your best to protect your partner from communication with society. No sane Homo sapiens would like to be alienated from those who are dear to them. And this is where the conflict flares up.
A not always mortally offended and suspicious opponent is ready to heed the voice of reason and realize that contact with other people is vital for every individual. There is nothing criminal in this, so inventing grandiose betrayals in your head is at least stupid. Most often, the guilty realize everything only when everything is already destroyed and nothing can be returned. It must be remembered that life is not a well-thought-out plan; unforeseen and accidents can always happen here. And if they do not pick up the phone, this does not mean that they are already in bed with lovers. Perhaps the phone just sat down or a blockage at work.
Self-esteem below the baseboard
Another reason why there is an unpleasant feeling of resentment is low self-esteem. Everything is obvious here: it is easy to blame a loved one that he is not attentive enough and communicates with others when you yourself feel not up to par. It seems not a freak, but not a cover model, not a dumbass, but not a Nobel Prize winner either. From all these small grievances against oneself, a grandiose one is obtained, the result of which are quarrels. Who would like the constant presence of a squishy, whining and complaining about himself?
In this case, it is necessary to remember that if you consider yourself so terrible, then why is there a beautiful and caring person nearby who agreed to be a life partner? In the end, everyone has flaws, but everyone has virtues too. It is precisely on your pluses that you should focus.
For more on the causes of jealousy towards an ex-boyfriend, read our next article at the link .
Couch Conquerors
The type of people who are accustomed to appropriate everything from the first minutes is almost impossible to re-educate. And if your precious lover is arbitrarily “protecting” your personal space, then it's time to do your feet. Such a maniac will not stop at any arguments, because his main goal is to keep his “charm” to himself. Even if that beauty is you. Selfishness, in principle, has never been the correct behavior model (perhaps only a little), and coupled with the manners of a jealous tyrant, this is a complete nuclear mixture.
The reason for this may be an old trauma from childhood. For example, parents divorced due to the betrayal of one of the spouses, and the child in the future will always expect a dirty trick from his passion. Or the previous novels were not successful, so in the present there is a fear of losing everything again. But it is worth remembering one thing: the past does not determine the personality. Whatever happened before, it is not certain that it will happen again in the future. Therefore, there is no point in being jealous for no reason, but it is better to show that you really deserve to be no longer betrayed.
The other side of the coin
There is no doubt that the feeling that they are afraid to lose you is incredibly warm to the soul. But if a lover starts snatching the phone out of his hands and reading all personal correspondence, this is already beyond good and evil. Undoubtedly, jealousy has its advantages if it is present between partners in moderate doses. What does this mean? Let's figure out together why a man is jealous!
Sometimes it's nice to show that you value your soulmate not just because she's yours, but because she's just there. Support the aspirations of a loved one, take an interest in his life, try to share some kind of hobby together – this will greatly refresh your existence around. And you can show your affection in different ways: defiantly hug, take by the hand, or simply say: “I won’t give you to anyone, because I love you.” This will certainly not offend anyone, but rather flatter anyone, regardless of gender.
Jealousy — How to get rid of it once and for all? Relationship psychology
